I’ve been at a new job for almost a year now and I’ve made the mistake, twice, of allowing myself to be interested in a coworker. The first time seemed great, at first, but ended very poorly. People make stupid decisions. Let us leave it at that. The second time wasn’t quite so bad, note even close. I didn’t allow myself to truly fall for this one, but I was definitely interested. I invited her to join me for dinner + movie tomorrow (we’re both off) but she shot me down, citing a need to keep work and personal relationships separate. Especially give my past experience, I can’t quite disagree with that policy, even if I am willing to risk going against it myself. This last breakup was very traumatic, but at least I was spared that a second time. I’ll be 34 this month and I know that I am no longer a young man. I am fast on my way to middle age. This, doubtless, influences my relationship decisions, as much as I would like to say that I approach these things more dispassionately. I am at a point in my life where I would like a permanent, more lasting relationship. At some point, I also would like a child or two of my own. I suppose none of that is going to happen right at this moment.
“Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me.”