I know, its been a long time since I’ve said anything here. I’ve been lazy, so sue me. Life has been crazy for a while. My car died on me, then I got a used pickup truck and 2 weeks into owning it discovered that it was a lemon. It has a very bad head gasket leak and driving it every day this way is just putting a lot of wear and strain on the engine. However, thanks to a close friend helping me out, I am getting a re-manufactured engine installed starting on Friday, June 17th. I wont go into the details on price, but let us just say it was a very good deal that I found/negotiated. I’ve got a re-manufactured engine now and the car truck is running fine.

The next thing of note is that I seem to be getting single out and targeted for harassment by one of the graveyard shift sups, for the last couple months. He is constantly being a dick to me. He has twisted the spirit of the rules here to write me up twice and forced me to move from my comfortable desk twice (I moved once, got settled in at a new desk and was forced to move again). He has purposely sat people in places I like to sit and instructed them not to move or swap keyboards (I can barely type on and ergonomic one and often trade for a standard one) and generally gives me a hard time for no reason that makes any sense to me. I have never seen him bother anyone else. It is getting to the point where my willpower to resist exploding and telling him off is beginning to wear thin. I know if I do this I will get sent home and possibly suspended. I am going to talk to my direct sup one more time about this. If he can’t get this guy to leave me alone, I am going to move my shift up 2 hours so he is leaving when I get here. It is getting to the point where I seriously hate this guy. I just can’t take much more of this bullshit.

So, this morning at work, the second floor people are now sitting on the 4th floor, due to there being no sup down there. I am being friendly with the ones that happen to be close to me, making casual harmless conversation, and two of them get up and move to the other side of the building. I then get bitched at by a supervisor about not making chit chat. WTF. I have been nothing but polite and friendly and this is the reward I get? This is complete bullshit. AND, they just got up and left, moved to other desks like I am some kind of fucking leper. What the fuck did I do to deserve that? I am hurt and angry beyond words right now.

My posts have been getting few and far between. I’m sorry about that. I’ve felt less and less inclined to come here and post, though I am unsure as to why. So the following is am update on my life.

Yes, ladies, I am still single. Not for lack of trying, but it is what it is. I am still hanging out with my friends on the weekends, I still work the same hours at the same place, still drive the same car and still live in the same apartment. My life is rather boring. I’ve been catching up on the third season of Merlin, another BBC show, now being current.

Its a bit like Smallville, but for Arthurian legend. From those that have see it that I know, You either love it or hate it, no middle ground. I like it a lot though. Just take it for what it is and enjoy yourself. However, everyone being completely oblivious to all the magic going on around them does get a bit tiresome.

I got a Printer for my PC, 32 plus tax at walmart. It also has a flatbed scanner on it and can print photos. I am sure I will find more uses for it than merely printing character sheets.

I started playing a new game recently, Lord of The Rings Online. Though its built a bit like DDO (Dungeons & Dragons Online), its a bit prettier, has a much richer story and world. I like the classes, the races and the crafting. Its currently free to play, so feel free to join me on Darrowdelf.

I suppose that’s all I have to say right now. Stay tuned for more.

Thanks to freak food poisoning and the “Gator flu going around at work, I was sick 4 days out of the last 10. This was not fun. I will spare you the details but suffice it to say that the stomach pain was so bad, at one point, that I bummed a vicodin off my roommate just so I could get a few hours of sleep. It took me 3 days to get over the fever and headaches that came with it. today, I am very sore, almost all of my abdomen, from 3 days of tossing and turning. I am too broke to buy any medicine, until tomorrow, so I just have to tough it out. I took about an hour’s nap when I got home from work, this helped to loosen up some of the muscles in my back. Last night, I couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep in my own bed, being forced to catch about 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep in the recliner in the living room.

On top of all this, the last week at work has been hell, do to someone with admin rights clicking the wrong link and getting our network infected with a nasty virus. We upgraded all the PC’s and have lost all my passwords twice. my windows profile was gone too. fun. Our internal messenger has been on the fritz today. It’s being such a tease. One minute, working fine, “hey I’m here, lets connect and chat”, the next gone, “screw you I have a headache. I suggested that someone feed the thing some poetry and flowers to keep it happy but I don’t think anyone did.

Ok, its been a while since I have posted, but only because there’s not been much worth talking about. Life has gone on as usual. I finished Robin Hood, loved it. Still gaming with my friends, having a good time with that. Well, I did have my 6 month review at work, I did well and got a small raise. I have all my bills for this month paid and have been having a decent time leveling my warrior (prot) on WoW. I suppose this is just a quick update to let everyone know I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth.

But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.
- Ernest Hemingway

Two more weeks of my life have passed and I am still alive. I finally got to see a doctor about my chronic acid reflux. He scheduled me to have an endoscopy on Monday, October 4th. I am most certainly NOT looking forward to this. I have an irrational fear of needles, AND surgical procedures. Of course, the logical part of me understands that I will not be operated on, but its still frightening.

This morning, my first call lasts almost 50 minutes dealing with some bad code in a customer’s htaccess files because she is so inept as to not be able to do such a simple thing herself, even with all of the help and examples we provide. It was most frustrating.

I’ve also been watching Robin Hood on Netflix. I am 9 episodes into the first season and Like it very much.

On another note, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to why my overtures towards the last female I fell for have failed. I’ve been reading far too much Shoujo Manga and was expecting things to turn out in an ideal manner when reality is much more cruel. I failed at patience, I failed at expressing myself, I failed at getting through to her heart. What I need to know is how long until this feeling goes away? I’ve tried ignoring it, I’ve even spoken to her a few times, trying my best to act normally (even though I feel anything but). This uncomfortable twisting in my heart every time I so much as think about her is not something I care to live with for the foreseeable future. On one hand, I want to act normally because I don’t want her to feel bad about me. On the other hand, I don’t understand how she can act normally with me, knowing full well the depth of what I feel for her. Its a conundrum of the worst sort, that I feel I have little chance of solving. Damn it all to hell I hate this feeling. I will leave you with a quote that expresses exactly how I felt up until the moment I confessed, when I poured my heart out to her.

“Deep in my heart I’m concealing things that I’m longing to say. Scared to confess what I’m feeling – frightened you’ll slip away.” -from the movie Evita

I saw this and felt I needed to share it. If my cats reacted to water this way I wouldn’t have so many problems bathing them:

My cats act like I am trying to drown them. screaming bloody murder the whole time like their lives depend on it. I have to bathe them because of the fleas. I know they feel much better after their bath, its just the process of getting there that they do not agree with.

I got up at 5, as usual, had a shower, picked up my backpack and the UVERSE equipment that I bagged up last night and left. I am returning 2 receivers and 2 remotes today because I dropped some unnecessary things from our service to save money. The TV signal to my room is shitty and I have netflix anyways, so no big deal. I will drop it off at the ups store near 290 & Hollister later after work, on my way to Katy. I have to attend, for at least an hour or two, a little family welcome back party for Kevin, whom was previously my step brother, until my Father’s divorce from his mother was final a couple weeks ago. Growing up we never really got along, but at least he’s civil to me since he grew up, so its not so bad hanging out with him. The problem is that there will be alcohol there and I don’t really drink. I really don’t like hanging out with drunk people because they really really annoy the piss out of me. Lets just hope it doesn’t get that far before I leave. I have a valid excuse for not staying longer, being that Sundays is the day that my friends come over for our weekly tabletop game. I have been looking forward to this as well. Back to work with me.

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.” -Bob Marley

(I don’t smoke pot, fyi)

Its only been a few days since my last post, but I am sitting here at work bored out of my mind, so I need something to occupy my thoughts. As always, tonight is game name for my friends and I. I am very much looking forward to this as well as being able to sleep in for the next couple days. I feel as though I’ve not gotten enough sleep this week so i want to get more rest.

At lunch, I started watching Surrogates on I, Robot, such as actors and general “message” behind the story. Despite that, I found myself enjoying it and even sympathizing with the main character, played by an aging Bruce Willis. I will continue the movie when I get home.

I am starting to get one of those “eye headaches”, however. I took an ibuprofen but I does not seem to be helping just yet. Good thing I have less than an hour left here today.

“What is play to the cat is death to the mouse.” – Danish Proverb

I don’t know if I will ever understand women. I know I am far from perfect, but I also know that there are a great many more men who are far worse than me. I don’t do drugs, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t like violence (movies, tv, etc its ok). I have a steady job, my own vehicle and I am responsible with what little money I have. You would think that more women would see this instead of my flaws. I’m just a tab bit out of shape because I hate doing things alone. If I had someone to work out with on a regular basis, I would. I like to watch anime online, I read scifi novels, I like to cook. I am loyal, honorable and kind to those I care about. Yes only my friends and family see this. I am nearly 30 and I feel that I may have lost my chance to find a meaningful relationship. This wont stop me from looking, of course, but given my track record of failures, I doubt that I will manage to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat here. That aside…

I’ve been watching Dexter on Netflix and have been enjoying it. Let give you a synopsis: “Based on Jeff Lindsay’s novels Darkly Dreaming Dexter and Dearly Devoted Dexter this crime thriller follows Dexter Morgan. Dexter is a forensic blood spatter expert for the Miami Dade Police Department. He is the main support for his sister. He has a steady girlfriend, with two kids who adore him.… More He also has an active “night life”. Based on a code instilled in him by his foster father, Harry, he hunts down people who have escaped justice and makes sure they don’t get away with a crime again.”

If that sounds interesting, watch it and tell me what you think.

It seems like my weekends are too short. I don’t know why this has suddenly changed, but 2 days into my work week, I find myself already longing for it to be over. its not like I hate my job, because I don’t. I just feel worn out. I am sure others out there understand how I feel. Anyways, I suppose this is enough for now.

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish it’s source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” –Anais Nin